In Lists We Trust

{The sixth installment in the In ____We Trust Series}

Glad to welcome Dana from Living in My Freedom to the blog today. She says: "I am a mother of four teenagers and married to an incredible man for 19 years. Life up to this point has been an adventure with so many stories to tell. I hope God can use my life's story to reach others and make an impact for the Kingdom."
dana

I used to pride myself on the lists I could make and accomplish. Did you see that “pride myself” part? Yea… how many times have we all said that phrase? I’ll give you a little insight into my prideful list making. Consider if this hits a nerve with you.

In the morning, I’d get my handy little note pad, with lines of course, and make my list of duties for the day. These were things I wanted to accomplish and would feel good if everything was crossed off, especially if I could do it by 3pm because then I could enter into the super-mom realm.  I would list them, sometimes alphabetically, in order of importance and by category… control-freak anyone?

In case you are wondering, my grocery lists were in categories, by isle of the store. I had a separate list of dinners for the week.

Here’s the kicker though, when I crossed things off the list, my “worthy meter” would go up a little. My worthy meter determined my worthiness of love, acceptance and ability to contribute to life.  Achievement based, conditional love.

So the major issue and fear I faced at the end of the day was if there were things I could not accomplish, I felt like the day was a failure…. actually that I was, in fact, a failure. If my list was completed I’d wave it around like an Olympian gold medal, shaking my little imaginary empty cup for others to fill it full of love and worthiness. If I didn’t finish the whole list, no one saw the list, even the things I’d done, I’d sulk and be surly to my family, which was an expression of how worthless I felt inside.

My worthy-meter determined my worthiness of love, acceptance, and ability to contribute to life.

I am so excited to report that Christ didn’t let me sink in that pit of feeling unworthy!!

worthy complete

He came to my rescue and I learned about my true worth in Christ. I have known for years in my head, it just hadn’t translated to my perfectionist, overachieving heart.

God’s Word says the following about me, oh and by the way…I can do nothing to earn it!

  • I am the apple of His eye- Zechariah 2:8
  • I am a Saint- Ephesians 2:19
  • I am redeemed and forgiven (Hallelujah!)- Ephesians 1:7
  • I am free from condemnation- Romans 8:1
  • I am established, anointed and sealed by God- 2 Corinthians 1:21-22
  • and most of all I am complete in Christ! – Colossians 2:10

Before you head into a place where you feel sorry for my feelings of worthlessness or identify and maybe think it’s not that bad…it was sin, plain and simple.

My inflated pride of thinking I was something and could earn God’s love fueled my clear unbelief of who God says I am through Christ. The fact that I called myself worthless when Christ called me worthy of dying for (and not believing that I am complete in Him) altered my view of my identity.

I had idolized the list! Placing the list above God.

god is god

What broke me free from worthlessness, list making, and achievement-based love was confession and then choosing to believe God.

Once I chose to believe what God says in His Word, He then did the work of sanctifying me through and through.

I have made a reference of scriptures identifying who I am as a new creation in Christ. I try to read them every day to ingrain into my heart so I have a new go-to thought for when Satan tries to tempt me to think the old thoughts.

When it creeps up on me I have a little statement I say-

God is God and the list is not!

By God’s power I overcame this! Now I find that when I fall, my reaction time to recognizing the drifting away from having God on the throne is much quicker. It’s so much easier to turn around and change directions now that I have confessed, repented and asked God to change my heart and mind.

I still love an organized spreadsheet or an organized list, that’s how God created me and I have learned to love it! However, it no longer has power over me. Christ broke the power of sin and shame and gave me the Holy Spirit to empower me to resist the devil!

Romans 6:14~  For sin will not rule over you, because you are not under law but under grace.

Are you idolizing something over God? Are you struggling to believe what God says about you? Seek God’s face, search Him out in His Word, it was written for you. It has every answer you need for your life today!

For the next few weeks, guests will be writing each Monday on something (or someone) we tend to trust in besides God. 

What about you? How do you fill in the blank: In ______ I Trust?

This post will also be shared on: #TestimonyTuesday, #RaRaLinkup, #Intentionally Pursuing, #WomenWithIntention, #TellHiStory, #Thought-Provoking Thursday, #DanceWithJesus, #LLMLinkup, Faith-Filled Friday, Sitting Among Friends, and #SoulSurvivalLinkup.

In {Google} We Trust

{The second installment in the In ____We Trust Series}

I like to stop by Christ on my way to Google. I wave hello, say “thanks” or “please.” Even “so glad you’re still here, I love you and trust you!” and then get along on my merry way to wherever I’m ultimately headed. It’s often to Google.

See, I like Google. I’m convinced there are no ends to the rabbit trails found to every answer I can conceivably ask it. There’s always something more to know, which, in my doubting heart, means there always a glimmer of hope that there is a way and it will work out….I just have to keep figuring it out.

If you want to know what I’m concerned about or doubting the Lord about, check my Google browsing history.

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At times you’ll find an absurd number of articles, web listings, and advertisements for first time homebuyers.

During other months, lengthy detailed research can be found about the health issues of loved ones and chronic problems that remain unsolved. The research extends to whole articles about big words I can’t pronounce.

I approach this in a Godly manner, of course. Because I pray first…

Do you know the prayer?

It’s that “I trust you, help me” prayer that comes before jumping off the narrow way of faith into the pit of forging my own way.

google we trust

I’ve got plenty of company there…that’s how Google ratings are determined, you know. The more people there are like me turning to Google for the answers the Lord isn’t giving as we want and when we want it, the more information there is on Google and the easier it is to find.

It seems that like me, many people believe that if we just check every rabbit hole, follow each trail to its end, and then tunnel a little deeper down on our own, the whole path will just open up. We’ll get where we’re going.

But oh, amidst all the sin of my doubt and my trust in Google, there’s another big issue:

Christ is not just the launching point, but the destination. And….the way.

When I trust Him with any one of these but not with all of them, I miss out. I do all this extra work and have all this added stress and anxiety. Because I’m trying to get to the one I trust, but not trusting Him to give me the information I need to get there.

My Google habit isn’t a sin. Being well-informed is even wise.

BUT, trusting in knowledge from Google instead of wholly in Christ leaves me with a head full of stuff and a heart full of…stuff. Not peace. Not hope. Not rest and joy in the Lord.

This is just another form of “leaning on my own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5.)

Google can mislead me. Information can change. All that I might learn in my seeking and searching online can fail me, betray me, disappoint me, and ultimately leave me hurt. God cannot and will not.

Before I whip my Google fingers out, I need to pray and ask if seeking information in that instance is a part of following Him. And I need to be willing to stop and listen.

If what I’m looking for isn’t information Google has, I need to look elsewhere. Namely, to Him.

If what I’m looking for is intended to placate me, fuel my doubts, or tempt me to sin, I need to go to Him who has all I need.

If I know that my Google search is just a tool God is using to teach me, inform me, and lead me…then I can click away.

Because when my Google search is something I trust the Lord with, I’m trusting the Lord…not a search engine.

For the next few weeks, I’ll be writing each Monday on something (or someone) I tend to trust in besides God. 

What about you? How do you fill in the blank: In ______ I Trust?

Writers and non-writers are welcome to submit guest posts. Contact me here by June 5th telling me what you trust in besides God and how He helps you trust Him more.

This post will also be shared on: #TestimonyTuesday, #RaRaLinkup, #Intentionally Pursuing, #WomenWithIntention, #TellHiStory, #Thought-Provoking Thursday, #DanceWithJesus, #LLMLinkup and #SoulSurvivalLinkup.