In Lists We Trust

{The sixth installment in the In ____We Trust Series}

Glad to welcome Dana from Living in My Freedom to the blog today. She says: "I am a mother of four teenagers and married to an incredible man for 19 years. Life up to this point has been an adventure with so many stories to tell. I hope God can use my life's story to reach others and make an impact for the Kingdom."
dana

I used to pride myself on the lists I could make and accomplish. Did you see that “pride myself” part? Yea… how many times have we all said that phrase? I’ll give you a little insight into my prideful list making. Consider if this hits a nerve with you.

In the morning, I’d get my handy little note pad, with lines of course, and make my list of duties for the day. These were things I wanted to accomplish and would feel good if everything was crossed off, especially if I could do it by 3pm because then I could enter into the super-mom realm.  I would list them, sometimes alphabetically, in order of importance and by category… control-freak anyone?

In case you are wondering, my grocery lists were in categories, by isle of the store. I had a separate list of dinners for the week.

Here’s the kicker though, when I crossed things off the list, my “worthy meter” would go up a little. My worthy meter determined my worthiness of love, acceptance and ability to contribute to life.  Achievement based, conditional love.

So the major issue and fear I faced at the end of the day was if there were things I could not accomplish, I felt like the day was a failure…. actually that I was, in fact, a failure. If my list was completed I’d wave it around like an Olympian gold medal, shaking my little imaginary empty cup for others to fill it full of love and worthiness. If I didn’t finish the whole list, no one saw the list, even the things I’d done, I’d sulk and be surly to my family, which was an expression of how worthless I felt inside.

My worthy-meter determined my worthiness of love, acceptance, and ability to contribute to life.

I am so excited to report that Christ didn’t let me sink in that pit of feeling unworthy!!

worthy complete

He came to my rescue and I learned about my true worth in Christ. I have known for years in my head, it just hadn’t translated to my perfectionist, overachieving heart.

God’s Word says the following about me, oh and by the way…I can do nothing to earn it!

  • I am the apple of His eye- Zechariah 2:8
  • I am a Saint- Ephesians 2:19
  • I am redeemed and forgiven (Hallelujah!)- Ephesians 1:7
  • I am free from condemnation- Romans 8:1
  • I am established, anointed and sealed by God- 2 Corinthians 1:21-22
  • and most of all I am complete in Christ! – Colossians 2:10

Before you head into a place where you feel sorry for my feelings of worthlessness or identify and maybe think it’s not that bad…it was sin, plain and simple.

My inflated pride of thinking I was something and could earn God’s love fueled my clear unbelief of who God says I am through Christ. The fact that I called myself worthless when Christ called me worthy of dying for (and not believing that I am complete in Him) altered my view of my identity.

I had idolized the list! Placing the list above God.

god is god

What broke me free from worthlessness, list making, and achievement-based love was confession and then choosing to believe God.

Once I chose to believe what God says in His Word, He then did the work of sanctifying me through and through.

I have made a reference of scriptures identifying who I am as a new creation in Christ. I try to read them every day to ingrain into my heart so I have a new go-to thought for when Satan tries to tempt me to think the old thoughts.

When it creeps up on me I have a little statement I say-

God is God and the list is not!

By God’s power I overcame this! Now I find that when I fall, my reaction time to recognizing the drifting away from having God on the throne is much quicker. It’s so much easier to turn around and change directions now that I have confessed, repented and asked God to change my heart and mind.

I still love an organized spreadsheet or an organized list, that’s how God created me and I have learned to love it! However, it no longer has power over me. Christ broke the power of sin and shame and gave me the Holy Spirit to empower me to resist the devil!

Romans 6:14~  For sin will not rule over you, because you are not under law but under grace.

Are you idolizing something over God? Are you struggling to believe what God says about you? Seek God’s face, search Him out in His Word, it was written for you. It has every answer you need for your life today!

For the next few weeks, guests will be writing each Monday on something (or someone) we tend to trust in besides God. 

What about you? How do you fill in the blank: In ______ I Trust?

This post will also be shared on: #TestimonyTuesday, #RaRaLinkup, #Intentionally Pursuing, #WomenWithIntention, #TellHiStory, #Thought-Provoking Thursday, #DanceWithJesus, #LLMLinkup, Faith-Filled Friday, Sitting Among Friends, and #SoulSurvivalLinkup.